I'm so ready to have Gesina home and incorporating her into my life. I had to put the feeding tube in again today and yup, I cried before I did it. I was fine last time but for some reason today, I just didn't want to experience hurting her. I realize that all moms have to see their babies hurt and some even have to do something that hurts them, so I did it. But I didn't like it and hope I learn to very efficiently put the tube in to minimize her discomfort. I also hope she doesn't pull the tube out so it can stay in the whole 30 days before I have to change it. And maybe she'll figure the eating thing out so I don't have to install one in 30 days at all! One can dream and be optimistic but I know Gesina will be in charge of that decision.
Gesina seems to have reversed her days and nights. She was up fussy last night and didn't eat much from the bottle. She then slept a lot during the day to make up for being up in the night. Hopefully we can turn that behavior around before she comes home. Her bottle eating has continued being low so I switched her bottle today which I hope helps turn the negative trend around. She took 50 ml from the new bottle this evening so we'll see. I think she's getting so much from the feeding tube that she just isn't hungry when we go to feed her. She is now up to 120 ml and the feeding tube runs over 1 1/2 hours. I'm hoping that when we go to on demand feeding that she'll link hunger and eating back together. I just feel like we are force feeding her and look forward to working with her pediatrician. I need another opinion on her eating and amounts. I'm sure I'm wrong and she is getting the amounts she needs but I need a fresh opinion from her pediatrician to assure me.
I now have all of her medical equipment home and have been trained on how to use it. She has a feeding tube and heart/respiration monitor. I'm a bit surprised about having the heart/respiration monitor but the nurse told me they always have one for the feeding tube babies. In a way it's nice to have the monitor so I don't have to worry about SIDS but I've been warned there are a lot of false positives and the alarm is really loud. Either way, I can't see any reason that Gesina can't come home Monday. Finally, we can begin our lives together!
Finally and end to this and she will be home. I agree with you on the feeding tube. Once you get her home you can feed her whenever she is awake and maybe she won't have to use the feeding tube. What a relief you must feel, my heart goes out to you. Love mom
ReplyDeleteGreat news! So glad everything is set and ready for her to go home....! I know you've got to be ecstatic...scared, apprehensive, excited...lol...all completely normal... You'll be an ole pro in no time!
ReplyDeleteA second opinion is a good thing. It will also help ease your mind with all the different things Gesina has going on...it will be a good way to kinda review where you've been and where you are now in her journey:)
Don't stress the little things, they can wait. Just focus on soaking up every amazing moment, it's been a long time coming. There will be times, I'm sure, that you cry right along side her, also completely normal...has a nice ring to it doesn't it? You're about to be a full time, hands on mama for real...!
So very happy for all of you, Blessings and many many beautiful moments & memories for years to come...:)