Sorry my post is so late tonight. I've been frantically cleaning and trying to prepare for Gesina coming home. I still won't know for sure if she comes home tomorrow until tomorrow but the nurses and I are optimistic. She gained weight yesterday so now she just has to gain weight today. I spent the day with her and she seems to be getting bored laying in a crib all day at the NICU! I'm excited to bring her home and start exploring the world with her. I'm hoping she likes the swing I got her and if she doesn't, I'll go get her a bouncy chair as it seems it is a one or the other thing with babies. I've gotten her meds from the pharmacy and have to bring them in with me tomorrow to ensure they are the right ones. I'm not really happy with her room being ready but I'm at a bit of a loss as to what needs to be changed. I figure that is something I can change when she's here and I can customize everything based on how she and I use everything.
When I tried to feed her at the NICU today it was a bit of a disaster. This has made me anxious. She nursed for 10 minutes then had her mid-meal freak out. I couldn't calm her down for more than a few minutes at a time and every time I tried to feed her again (part 2 of her feeding) she'd freak out again. She was telling me by her actions that she was hungry but she just wouldn't eat for me. Eventually the nurse fed her a bottle and they tried to get me to take a break from it but I hung around because I refuse to punk out. Honestly, the nurses didn't do anything different from what I was doing. But this leaves me scared. What if I can't get my little girl to eat? I know babies just fuss, and I know I'll figure it out... but that doesn't make the process any less scary. What if every meal is a struggle and we experience this battle of wills every two hours? Ugh.
Ok, contrary to my previous patterns...lets just get to the meat of the matter:) I've hesitated to mention this, but...I wonder if part of the issue with you feeding her, is that she's upset only seeing you "part-time"? She sees the nurses ALL THE TIME. This is Not your fault. You will have your challenges to work out at home. There are gonna be "okay" days, pretty "okay" days...and lets just be honest here....days that REALLY SUCK. You're gonna feel helpless, inadequate and frustrated. Babies are...a species unto themselves...You can't bribe, beg, plead, promise...you can only try...Maybe she has it in her head, that if she feeds, it's almost time for you to leave...stranger things have happened:) HOPEFULLY, this will all be in the "memory" file in a matter of mere hours...
ReplyDeleteDon't give up, I know it's terribly hard not to constantly question yourself, but you can do this. One last thing...babies come preprogrammed with this automatic detector thing...if mama or daddy is stressed, upset or worried...baby's gonna fuss and fret, no matter how good you are at "faking", they know.
So, RELAX, you already have enough to worry about. If she fights the bottle, give her a few minutes and try again. Check out all genres of music as well, you'd be REALLLLLY surprised at what "does the trick" for some babies and children:) We'll hope it's something you and Adrian can tolerate;)
Here's to an "almost" New Chapter...:)
I agree with Sagesmoon Jackie, sometimes babies just need to be fussy, they may have gas or a tummy ache or whatever. Every mother is nervous about taking her baby home from the hospital, your fears are not unusual and there will probably be some bumpy times but in the end you both will get to know each others habits and adjust. You will figure out what makes her happy or content eventually. Just don't stress if she does have some fussy times, that is normal with every baby. And just RELAX is a very good point, so it takes you longer to feed her, so what. Love you guys, mom.
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