Childcare drama

I've had the worst childcare week ever and sadly, I'm learning that this is just business as usual for working mothers everywhere. First, I find out Monday night that the daycare teacher that promised weeks ago to watch Gesina on Wednesday and Thursday night and on Monday nights during the semester can't watch Gesina... no reason given. Just sorry, can't do it. I'd had this settled weeks ago and every teacher in Gesina's daycare class knew I had work-related obligations starting this week. So I spend Tuesday reeling and trying to find a replacement for the next two nights. Thankfully the front desk employee at my daycare scrambled for me and found someone that can watch Gesina the next two nights. Yay, crisis averted... or so I thought.

Wednesday morning I drop Gesina off at daycare and drive the hour to school for a 6 hour mandatory department meeting. This is a big meeting as there are some very major changes in my job, including who will be my boss in a few months and where my office will be located a year from now. As I drive into the parking lot at work I get a call from daycare, Gesina has a rash and must be picked up immediately. I laugh as I think this has to be a joke. But no, a random child in a completely different room has contracted hand, foot and mouth disease so Gesina must be checked out immediately. This seems very understandable until you add to the story that Gesina has had this rash on her chest, shoulders and back for 3 weeks. In fact, her home health nurse looked at it and told me it was just from the heat and sweating and as her home health nurse was visiting her the next day, I could have her look at it again tomorrow. This doesn't appease the daycare director so I have to turn around and drive the hour back to daycare to pick Gesina up and take her to urgent care. Seventy-five dollars and hours later, I have a note saying Gesina has HEAT RASH and return her to daycare. I drive the hour back to school and walk in the door just as the meeting is adjourned. I haven't been so angry in a really long time. Every parent I've talked to has said this is NORMAL. I can't believe our society is so accepting of such unreliable childcare arrangements. I totally get the public health concerns about sick kids, but to not have a process in place to ensure kids are taken care of in a safe manner and parents can continue to work and financially support said kids is beyond unacceptable. I've found my next research topic on work-family issues...

All that aside, once my emotions calmed down I decided the director of the daycare did not mean me any harm. While she did inconvenience me greatly and really should know the difference between heat rash (on chest and back) and symptoms of hand, foot and mouth which include visible sores on the HAND, FOOT, OR MOUTH, she is just doing her job and has many policies and regulations guiding her decisions. And if she had called me about a symptom I didn't know about, I would have been grateful. So because her heart is in the right place, I decided to be mature and let it go. Blah, adulthood sucks. What I did learn is that in the future, anything I have the home health nurse look at, I'm going to get a note saying what it is and that it is not contagious. I'm also going to start building my emergency backup care ASAP. I may end up with 5 backup babysitters but if I take the train to work, I may not physically be able to pick Gesina up in this situation in the future. I could be stuck in the city with no way to get back home for hours.

On a positive note, Gesina's acid reflux is getting better :-) She has maintained her weight through all of this to remain in the 12th percentile. I do understand the way a G-tube works versus the NG-tube that I had previously experienced. My hesitation with a G-tube is that there is no clear exit strategy for the G-tube. The "Gesina will let us know when she no longer needs it" response doesn't cut it with me. As a psychologist, I know that if she gets dependent on a G-tube (which is essentially the purpose of the G-tube), then she will likely remain on it indefinitely. I won't count on Gesina magically deciding one day that eating is great so she's going to do that now and won't need the tube. Gesina may never be conscious enough to enjoy food. Of course I hope and plan for Gesina to develop into a happy and fully functioning adult, but I also have to accept that she may not get there. That said, if she can currently eat of her own accord, then I'm going to let her. Until her weight declines and she dramatically changes percentiles, I will celebrate her ability to eat and sustain herself. It's also fun to note that Gesina is now in the 75th percentile for height!

Up next is another GI visit where I hope we can continue to work on her nutrition. I'm hoping that at 9 months we can work on adding more real food to her diet and have her start experiencing textures. I'm always a bit sensitive about her missing out on "regular" experiences because of doctors' or therapists fears or lack of faith in her abilities. To that end, she and I went swimming in a pool last week! No crying or whimpering so I think she liked it :-) I need to plan for more adventures in the near future. I'm determined to try new things with Gesina and let her show me what she can and can not yet do. I hope I never get to the point where I assume she can't do something. I have always optimistically believed that obstacles only really exist in your mind. I'd hate to create artificial boundaries for my little fighter as she's already overcome so many obstacles! She really is my inspiration :-)