On my own...

So a major milestone has come and gone (53 days in NICU and 53 days at home!), Gesina is 15 weeks old, grandma, grandpa, and Aunt Monica have visited and Kimberly has gone home. I'm now the ringleader of my own family circus of 3 cats, Gesina and Adrian! Gah!

Grandma and grandpa brought toys and thankfully, Gesina likes them :-) She has already spent time in her activity gym, which she threw up on this morning, and in her vibrating bouncy chair. Yay for "me time" again as she doesn't have to spend every moment during the day in my arms! The real test will be if I start to lose weight again as I don't eat when Gesina is in my arms all the time. I'm hoping her "gym time" will allow me time to eat at least. My sister has also taught me a slight pressure hug that has helped calm Gesina a few times already. All together, the last few days with Gesina has been NICE. There have been some calm times which is quite a nice change of pace.

Next up, neurology appointment on Thursday. The appointment is an hour away from home so that should be a rough car ride and day with a screaming child. I'm hoping all the testing, etc. that needs to happen will happen on Thursday and not be one of those useless appointments where you just schedule random tests for another day altogether! I'm interested in talking to the doctor about side effects of Gesina's current meds. I'm wondering if her "rages" when she screams like she is mad and rather aggressively claws my body, are a side effect of her meds. I'm also wondering if she sleeps more than most other children her age and if so, if that is a side effect as well. Lots of questions that I hope I get answers to versus just getting blown off.

I'm hoping the therapy appointments this week don't get me down as I won't have Kimberly here to cheer me on! My babysitter, Trish, told the therapists that they stress me out so I'm hoping they pow wow and realize that giving me a ton of scary labels and telling me "we have a lot of work to do" isn't helping. There are just too many cooks in the kitchen right now and I don't need a 4 time weekly reminder that my child has difficulties and is not "normal". I'm still trying to come to terms with the therapists being a help rather than a hindrance. I need to latch onto their treatments and helpful suggestions and ignore the judgmental vibe I get and the scary labels they throw around like candy. I keep reminding myself that they mean well and any help to my child is worth any drama I go through... but it sure would be nice to be left alone like other first time moms!