Labels and services

We now have a Physiatrist that I like who seems like a doctor that will help coordinate Gesina's treatments and therapies instead of me feeling I have to coordinate it all. The good news is she is proactive on getting Gesina going with cerebral palsy treatments. We have added baclofen to the medications list (a muscle relaxer) and next week Gesina gets fitted for AFOs for both feet. An AFO is an ankle-foot orthosis, which is a plastic boot fitted specifically to Gesina's feet. The AFO will encourage her feet to grow in appropriately and not let her muscle tightness cause her feet to turn inward or anything that will further complicate her potential for movement. It was so nice to talk to an expert on CP because she filled in so many missing pieces on why Gesina responds to the world in the way she does. I feel that we finally have the doctors we need to fill the team for a little while. The bad news is Gesina finally got the diagnosis/label I've dreaded for a long time. She was diagnosed with "congenital quadriplegia". It's the worse type of CP linked with the worst outcomes, at least statistically. I know every child is different and the severity of her CP hasn't been written down yet but I can't help but have a reaction to that label. I'll come around but it just hurts the soul a bit.

In other news, Gesina has been accepted into the Medicaid program in Wisconsin! Yay to secondary insurance AND it is back dated to April 1, 2014 meaning her April hospital stay and beyond will be covered. Oh and I can now switch from early intervention PT and OT to private therapy that uses a medical model of therapy. This is great because the medical model will allow for more therapy per week AND won't consist of just telling me to work on things with Gesina. I still find that I don't have the time to do all they want me to do and I can't handle the pressure of it. Now the stress can be relieved a bit as now I have therapists for that and some of the stress is off of me. Whew. I did learn that only kids who would be institutionalized if their parents didn't take care of them get approved for the Katie Beckett waiver for medicaid. This is to encourage the families to care for their special needs children and is cheaper than institutionalizing these kids. This has scared the bajeebies out of me. My child is so severely disabled that she would be institutionalized? What happens if I die? So I'm frantically creating a "taking care of Gesina" document, looking into writing a will, and getting some life insurance ASAP. Either way, we are inching towards her first birthday and she's here. I'll keep getting her the doctors, services, and medical devices she needs but with less stress from her OT/PT stuff, I'm going to just focus on being her mom, loving her, and having more fun with her. On that note, here she is trying on daddy's glasses :-)

10 months and 1 day

Gesina is 10 months and one day old today. She's had a string of good days (with smiles) and I don't want to jinx it, but I think the stomach bug is over! She is a healthy 16 pounds 12 ounces, feels "sturdy" lately with more head control, and is finally TOLERATING TUMMY TIME!!! Yay! It only took 10 months for this and when I say tolerating, I mean some days she'll stay on her tummy for an hour and others 5 minutes. But she is consistently allowing it to happen... lately. She even smiled in reaction to MY voice this morning and not just Adrian's voice or her iPad. The little monster is turning into a daddy's girl but given time, she'll realize her momma's pretty neat too!

The good news is that Gesina does NOT have infantile spasms :-) We are so happy to hear that! The EEG was abnormal showing spikes and at times, rhythmic spikes that are like a precursor to a seizure. But during the whole 72 hours, she did not have a seizure. The neurologist is changing her meds because our goal has always been to prevent seizures, not just treat them when they occur. Her new med is Lamictal and it takes 8 weeks to get her ramped up to the right dose. One side effect we have to watch for is a deadly rash... no big deal, just a deadly rash!!! But if there is one doctor on Team Gesina that I trust implicitly, it's her neurologist. He saved her life when she was born so he's used to these life and death decisions and since he was right last time...

Last week I got a second opinion on the g-tube from a new GI doctor that works out of an office close to my home a few days a week. She also works in the same Milwaukee office as the current GI but comes recommended by Gesina's therapists. She was much better about my concerns and reassured me that Gesina needs the g-tube to ensure her limited energy is spent on developing and not on eating. Honestly, I'm still not convinced she needs it as she has chubby cheeks now and is doing so well with food. BUT, if there is any chance, no matter how small, that getting a g-tube will help her advance her development in this small 3-year window when her brain is its most plastic, then I have to try. She is a slow eater (like her momma, grandma, and great-grandma) so that does take energy. Also, I've read that kids with CP need more calories because they burn so much energy with the constantly tight muscles. Those things added together, I figure I'll get the g-tube and may or may not need it. But at least I can say I've done everything I can to help her develop as best she can. Blah. But that happens, with an overnight hospital stay (and a couch for momma), at the end of the month. Oh, and in a way I get the best of both worlds. The previous GI doc is doing the surgery because he is the first pediatric gastroenterologist in eastern Wisconsin and taught everyone in his office how to do this surgery. So I figure, he's the best. But after the surgery I'm switching to the new GI doctor who works in the same practice but has a better "bedside manner." My relationship with the GI doctor and his/her nutritionist is long term and vital so I have to be able to work with them comfortably. I have a pretty stringent selection system for Team Gesina and seem to be going through doctors relatively quickly ;-)

Next up, we meet the only Physiatrist that works in my town a few days a week. She comes recommended by my therapist (who has 10 kids and a few have CP) but our first appointment is in Milwaukee. I'm hoping this will be it for doctors needed for Team Gesina for a while. I'm looking forward to a break from doctors visits and switching out doctors/therapists! I just hope all these med changes and surgery don't mess up Gesina's streak of good moods and tummy time.  

Adventures in Extreme Parenting

I've decided to "repackage" special needs parenting. When times are tough and juggling the expectations and needs placed on me becomes overwhelming, I find myself feeling a little like a victim. That mentality spreads and leads to a sense of desperation and sadness. Also, I find that in general, society doesn't really value parenting, especially special needs parenting. On an average day, I don't need looks of pity when I'm with my daughter. She's beautiful and perfect. If I'm lucky, she'll grow up to be happy and really that's all anyone should wish for for their children. What society does value is "extreme" home makeovers, "extreme" Mountain Dew, "extreme" sports, or any other extreme thing that gets you a sponsor and TV-time. The label "extreme" means that you are tougher than the regular Joe and that you got this... whatever it is. To boost my spirits when I get overwhelmed, I've decided that as a special needs mom, I'm engaged in extreme parenting... that's me, I got this and I'm a bad ass :-D It really does change your mentality as extreme athletes aren't victims, they snack on danger and dine on death! So when I see friends starting a food train because their healthy and fully functioning child has a planters wort, I don't get mad. I laugh, but then, I remember that not everyone can handle extreme parenting ;-) Sorry to offend those who don't get the life altering experience of extreme parenting, but let's face it, you have plenty of other benefits!

So what could be overwhelming about raising Gesina lately? Glad you asked as we have had a laughably horrific few weeks. Since I last left you, Gesina had a stomach bug... well that little bugger never really went away. After 10 days of her off-and-on refusing bottles, vomiting nearly everything she ate, not producing stinky or sometimes wet diapers, and generally being unhappy, I called her GI nurse for the second time and she had me take Gesina to the ER in the Children's hospital 45 minutes away from home. After 3 hours in the car (I work an hour away from home in the opposite direction of the ER), we arrived to a packed ER at 6pm on a Tuesday. It's about 75 people deep and everyone thinks their kid has that dreaded flu that is going around. I didn't have time to stop at home so there I am at the ER with a hungry baby with no diapers, no food, and no 9pm meds. By about 8:30 I ask the nurse if it's going to be much longer because I have no meds and live 45 minutes away. She is great and orders a dose of the meds for me and gives me some applesauce to feed my little Gesina monster. I give Gesina her meds and she promptly throws them up all over me as the nurse calls our name. For the first time ever, I get mean mugged for having a crying baby... at the children's hospital... BY THE WOMAN NEXT TO ME WHO TALKED ABOUT JESUS FOR THE LAST HOUR!!! I couldn't believe it. The hospital ordered more meds and Gesina got an IV drip for mild dehydration. We got home at 3am and we were both exhausted.

Wednesday we wake up and Gesina cries a horrific cry I never heard before. I'm terrified and find out it is her "pain cry". I give her a suppository and tylenol but that doesn't really help. I call the pediatrician who thinks its cramps from dehydration but if it gets worse or doesn't get better, take her to the ER. At 9pm Gesina wakes up screaming her pain cry (which really is horrible and just makes me cry) so I give her her meds, then off to the ER we go. Day two of the ER is even more entertaining as there was a car accident involving teenagers. At first, I'm saddened by the thought but then I sit in the waiting room and realize that I have chosen my seat in error. The family behind me has a very lively dad that is dropping an f-bomb for every other word. So I'm trying to feed Gesina and though she can't understand his language, I can imagine she can feel his anger as he is yelling "How's she supposed to know the car was stolen? She wasn't driving..." with some f-bombs thrown in for artistic value. I'm stuck because if I move (he's sitting right behind me) then I look like I'm making some statement and he's very aggressive right now. So I decide that it's 10pm on a Wednesday night at the children's hospital ER, I'm low on sleep so this is just my form of entertainment. Gesina gets an x-ray characterized as "impressive" by the ER nurse due to the "extreme" gas and poo in her system but no blockage. A suppository and tylenol later, I leave the ER at 6am with a screaming baby and a key for a hotel room because Gesina has an appointment that afternoon for a swallow study at the same hospital.

I'm exhausted but we get through it all. The swallow study shows that yup, now that we've lowered her oatmeal intake per ounce of formula (as demanded by the nutritionist), she may be aspirating but we can't tell conclusively. So days in the hospital and a swallow study later, I've learned that there is nothing they can do that I haven't already been doing. That's over $500 to affirm what I already new. Oh, and Gesina is still struggling off-and-on with the stomach bug and we are going on a month of it now.

Last week we had the all clear from her cardiology appointment (yay), the NICU developmental clinic (where they agreed that a g-tube for Gesina is in her best interests), and a neurology appointment. Gesina has had a few odd instances where she startles and then her eyes roll in a circle. These had happened in clusters of about 3 to 5 at a time. Her neurologist and I hope these are just benign reflexes but decided to do a 72-hour video EEG to rule out infantile spasms (do not Google if you can't handle it, these are bad). We are currently on day 2 of the EEG and it's picture day at daycare! Yup, I have the worst luck in the world. So we decided to go with it and make her electrodes just a Halloween costume. When she grows up and see's these pictures, I'm going to tell her I just decided to dress her up as Rob Zombie or George Clinton for Halloween. Fingers crossed that she just thinks her mom has weird taste in music! Here she is in all her scary glory... grrr!

She's rocking that look if I do say so myself. In the meantime, through all the stomach bug, Gesina has gained the expected amount of weight (wtf). I'm going to get the g-tube but I may still fire my GI. He keeps telling me she doesn't have acid reflux because she's on a good dose of Prilosec. I asked about changing brands and he says they are all the same. I asked about the vomiting a bottle everyday and he says that's to be expected. I asked about her slow digestion, he says she's fine. I can't work with him long term so I have to decide if I want to change GI docs before the g-tube insertion or after.

Next up, pediatrician on Friday where I get to explain to her that Gesina's brain atrophy is not a degenerative disease but the result of a one-time brain injury (per neurologist). Hopefully she will help me navigate the GI doctor issue instead of serving a big slice of the truth pie... as she sees it. Then, the g-tube which is an overnight stay. Not gonna lie, putting a whole in my babies stomach when she's gaining weight, getting taller, and seemingly healthy is not going to be easy. BUT, I recognize that she takes in only 3 ounces a day at daycare so they can't feed her and I barely can so I'll do it... hating every minute of it... because that's extreme parenting for ya ;-)

39 weeks and 1 day old

My little Gesina monster is 9 months old :-) In fact, she is 39 weeks and 1 day old and having been born at 39 weeks, she has officially been on the "outside" 1 day longer than the time she spent on the "inside" :-D Here she is in all her glory with a smile just for being placed in her activity gym...

The last week has been challenging though. We saw the GI doctor on Thursday and even though Gesina had gained the amount of weight they wanted (and went from 12 percentile to 15th percentile) all the doctor would talk about is the G-tube. He is not interested in her acid reflux issues or managing her meds for that, he is just all for the G-tube. We are going to schedule a swallow study as the thinner liquid seems to make her sound congested after a bottle and we need to find out if she is aspirating. After that, we plan to re-evaluate what we need to do next. Needless to say, I left the appointment frustrated and determined to get a new GI doctor. And then... the stomach virus hit :-(

Grandma and grandpa came to visit and got to enjoy the start of the stomach virus. Starting Saturday Gesina started throwing up 5 or more times a day. I was soaked in it and my floors have never been cleaner due to the constant wiping up of vomit. In fact, I've gone through so many t-shirts that today I'm wearing my last clean t-shirt, my free Chicago Cubs shirt... and was accused of being a Cubs fan. Never! I don't support loveable losers as a general rule. I brought her into the pediatrician's office on Tuesday and have spent the last 4 days feeding her 10 mL of formula every 10 minutes and I'm so exhausted. Between Thursday and Tuesday she had lost half a pound even with my best efforts to keep feeding her the appropriate amount of formula. By now I've completely thrown out the playbook and her ideal amounts of formula per day are forgotten. I'm lucky if she keeps down 6 ounces of formula a day. This morning she kept yogurt down and 3 ounces of formula. We are aiming for feeding her every 2 hours about 3 ounces and we'll see if our luck holds.

So, how does this episode relate to the G-tube? I've talked to her many therapists and even the daycare director who is a speech pathologist this past week. They all said something that really halted my thinking on the G-tube. They all independently said that based on their experience with Gesina and other babies like her, Gesina's development is being impacted by her nutrition and acid reflux. The G-tube can help get those two issues under control so we can focus on her motor development, stretching, etc. This fact crosses a line or standard for me. I refuse to let my daughter's development lag just because her mother is stubborn. I can't will her to eat but I can allow her to be assisted in that endeavor so we can focus on more important things. As Adrian said about this issue, with my original path, I would end up with a teenager who can eat but can't do much else. So I thought long and hard on what my reservations are about the G-tube. I don't care if Gesina is "different" as I've always liked different :-) so what I've concluded is that a G-tube represents dependency and I value independence so much that I will do anything to avoid dependency. Now that I can identify my "logic" I realize how silly it is. My 9 month old is dependent anyway! So what if she is dependent on a G-tube. And if she has to have it for life, which is highly unlikely but you never know, than she can still be independent in caring for her own G-tube. So getting a G-tube doesn't sound so bad anymore and now it's time to think about what it would do for Gesina.

A G-tube will not directly help her acid reflux or vomiting for that matter. It only directly helps her nutrition as whatever amount of nutrition/formula she does not consume during the day I can make up for with the G-tube. Indirectly, the G-tube can help with acid reflux and vomiting. How? With a G-tube I can let her refuse bottles because of acid reflux or vomiting during the day and make up the difference at night. This means less pain and more ability to focus on growing/learning/developing during the day. One thing I know about Gesina is when one thing goes wrong (seizure, acid reflux, vomiting, etc.) her abilities regress. She can quickly revert to her 3 month old self that needs to be held at all times or will scream until you give in. I need her issues that cause her to regress to be managed. I have a neurologist working on controlling her seizures, and if I let him, a GI doctor to work on her tummy issues. Once I get those two factors under control, then I can add a Physiatrist to manage her therapies and likely cerebral palsy.

And there it is... I've finally "said" it. There is a strong likelihood that Gesina has cerebral palsy. I had hoped we would dodge this diagnosis because she doesn't show signs of weakness on one side like most babies with her background. But her high muscle tone hasn't gone away and she likely has a spastic form of cerebral palsy called dystonic quadriparesis. Once I have a Physiatrist on board, I'll be able to truly diagnose her type and the severity of it. The good news is therapy makes a difference in outcomes so I'm on it. The bad news is this is another label I'll have to wrap my head around and embrace. Will she ever be able to run a 5K with me now? We still don't know but worse case? I'll roll her along with me in a wheelchair if I have to! As usual, we're down, but we're not out. She's alive, she's relatively healthy, and she's 9 months old :-)   

Childcare drama

I've had the worst childcare week ever and sadly, I'm learning that this is just business as usual for working mothers everywhere. First, I find out Monday night that the daycare teacher that promised weeks ago to watch Gesina on Wednesday and Thursday night and on Monday nights during the semester can't watch Gesina... no reason given. Just sorry, can't do it. I'd had this settled weeks ago and every teacher in Gesina's daycare class knew I had work-related obligations starting this week. So I spend Tuesday reeling and trying to find a replacement for the next two nights. Thankfully the front desk employee at my daycare scrambled for me and found someone that can watch Gesina the next two nights. Yay, crisis averted... or so I thought.

Wednesday morning I drop Gesina off at daycare and drive the hour to school for a 6 hour mandatory department meeting. This is a big meeting as there are some very major changes in my job, including who will be my boss in a few months and where my office will be located a year from now. As I drive into the parking lot at work I get a call from daycare, Gesina has a rash and must be picked up immediately. I laugh as I think this has to be a joke. But no, a random child in a completely different room has contracted hand, foot and mouth disease so Gesina must be checked out immediately. This seems very understandable until you add to the story that Gesina has had this rash on her chest, shoulders and back for 3 weeks. In fact, her home health nurse looked at it and told me it was just from the heat and sweating and as her home health nurse was visiting her the next day, I could have her look at it again tomorrow. This doesn't appease the daycare director so I have to turn around and drive the hour back to daycare to pick Gesina up and take her to urgent care. Seventy-five dollars and hours later, I have a note saying Gesina has HEAT RASH and return her to daycare. I drive the hour back to school and walk in the door just as the meeting is adjourned. I haven't been so angry in a really long time. Every parent I've talked to has said this is NORMAL. I can't believe our society is so accepting of such unreliable childcare arrangements. I totally get the public health concerns about sick kids, but to not have a process in place to ensure kids are taken care of in a safe manner and parents can continue to work and financially support said kids is beyond unacceptable. I've found my next research topic on work-family issues...

All that aside, once my emotions calmed down I decided the director of the daycare did not mean me any harm. While she did inconvenience me greatly and really should know the difference between heat rash (on chest and back) and symptoms of hand, foot and mouth which include visible sores on the HAND, FOOT, OR MOUTH, she is just doing her job and has many policies and regulations guiding her decisions. And if she had called me about a symptom I didn't know about, I would have been grateful. So because her heart is in the right place, I decided to be mature and let it go. Blah, adulthood sucks. What I did learn is that in the future, anything I have the home health nurse look at, I'm going to get a note saying what it is and that it is not contagious. I'm also going to start building my emergency backup care ASAP. I may end up with 5 backup babysitters but if I take the train to work, I may not physically be able to pick Gesina up in this situation in the future. I could be stuck in the city with no way to get back home for hours.

On a positive note, Gesina's acid reflux is getting better :-) She has maintained her weight through all of this to remain in the 12th percentile. I do understand the way a G-tube works versus the NG-tube that I had previously experienced. My hesitation with a G-tube is that there is no clear exit strategy for the G-tube. The "Gesina will let us know when she no longer needs it" response doesn't cut it with me. As a psychologist, I know that if she gets dependent on a G-tube (which is essentially the purpose of the G-tube), then she will likely remain on it indefinitely. I won't count on Gesina magically deciding one day that eating is great so she's going to do that now and won't need the tube. Gesina may never be conscious enough to enjoy food. Of course I hope and plan for Gesina to develop into a happy and fully functioning adult, but I also have to accept that she may not get there. That said, if she can currently eat of her own accord, then I'm going to let her. Until her weight declines and she dramatically changes percentiles, I will celebrate her ability to eat and sustain herself. It's also fun to note that Gesina is now in the 75th percentile for height!

Up next is another GI visit where I hope we can continue to work on her nutrition. I'm hoping that at 9 months we can work on adding more real food to her diet and have her start experiencing textures. I'm always a bit sensitive about her missing out on "regular" experiences because of doctors' or therapists fears or lack of faith in her abilities. To that end, she and I went swimming in a pool last week! No crying or whimpering so I think she liked it :-) I need to plan for more adventures in the near future. I'm determined to try new things with Gesina and let her show me what she can and can not yet do. I hope I never get to the point where I assume she can't do something. I have always optimistically believed that obstacles only really exist in your mind. I'd hate to create artificial boundaries for my little fighter as she's already overcome so many obstacles! She really is my inspiration :-)

Non-stop cuddles

So I've been absolutely horrible with keeping up with Gesina's "brushing therapy" and I think it is starting to show. In my defense, she is vomiting up bottles (5 times in one day!!) so I have to keep her upright at nearly all times. This makes brushing difficult. The brushing is supposed to "desensitize" her and allow her to remain calm at any given time. Since I've been lax on it, she startles easily and is adamant about being held at ALL TIMES to feel calm and secure. I don't mind but I did have one of her new daycare teachers complain about it :-( Apparently Gesina's demands don't fit when there are 8 babies in one room and only 2 teachers. I can't believe Gesina is the first baby they've had that likes to be held all of the time but who knows. I've taken her complaint with a grain of salt but if pushed, I may have to let her know that when one doctor is telling you your baby may not make it to her first birthday, then you cuddle her every chance you get and be grateful. But again, I haven't gotten annoyed enough to get grouchy... yet.

Here's a pic of Gesina sitting upright... She is definitely a chip off the old block as I commandeer the lazy boy in my house, and I got that from my dad. Of course, my dad would kick me out of his lazy boy and so far, I haven't done that to Gesina. Though I can absolutely see me yelling at her to bring me something from the fridge in the future ;-)

Next up I am hoping that upping her Prilosec will get the vomiting under control. Even sick, Gesina has gained a pound in one month which is the upper end of what she needed to do. The being sick all of the time has impeded progress on therapy and "inchstones". I'm trying to incorporate sitting up as much as I can to help build up her muscles but tummy time is pretty much impossible. When your baby vomits 3-5 times a day and in large quantities, she ends up sitting up the whole day. The only time she is not sitting up is during clothing and diaper changes. There is no time for her to be horizontal and in fact, she mainly vomits while sitting up (on me of course). Either way, when we get that under control, back to brushing therapy and tummy time.

While we wait, wish me luck; Gesina and I are going on a road trip to see papa play fastpitch at nationals. Three and a half hours in a car with a baby who is only happy being held and vomits quite frequently may do me in. But alas, I'm a problem-solver and I'm going to bring ear plugs :-)

Downtime with family and fall transitions

Gesina and I have been busy enjoying the few warm days of summer lately and beginning our fall transitions. Normally fall is my favorite season of the year but with such an oddly cold summer, I feel a bit cheated!

Gesina's first transition was to visit a new GI doctor and see a nutritionist. We got the "g-tube" lecture which was annoying. Granted, the doctor didn't receive Gesina's records (of course, that's hundreds of dollars wasted on a general consult because neither my pediatrician or prior GI doctor, both of whom referred me to the new GI, sent over Gesina's records), so the GI doc used the time to tell me what he could do for me... insert a g-tube. I listened like a dutiful mother but was seething inside. My daughter is at the 12% for weight and is not even 8 months old and is wearing 12 month old clothes! I think we are way past that drama. Grrrr. The nutritionist was very helpful though. She was amazed at the diet we had Gesina on because it is very nontraditional. I don't mind it because it WORKED but do agree that due to the low volume of liquid, it is not sustainable in the long-term. So we came up with a plan to get us off the crazy diet and move toward a more sustainable diet. Gesina now takes 20 ounces of formula at 27 calorie per ounce INSTEAD of 12 ounces of formula at 44 calories per ounce each day. We are also lowering the amount of oatmeal from 1 Tbs per ounce to 1 1/2 teaspoon per ounce. The goal is to get it to only 1 Tbs of oatmeal per BOTTLE. So, how is she doing with all this?? AMAZING! She is taking her 20 ounces or more each day and is even showing signs of being hungry :-) Can't wait to tell the GI doc that we won't be needing the g-tube thank you very much! She is vomiting a lot though. I may have the GI doc switch her from Prilosec to something else to see if that helps with the vomiting up of whole bottles.

Gesina has also had some therapy transitions. I finally fired my PT and the new one can't start until next week. We also have a new OT that I've never met because my usual OT is having surgery. Finally, we've added an additional OT through a private company that follows a "medical" model versus the "coaching" model that early intervention (EI) uses. This caused some drama with EI as they claimed it's not best practice to use both... ummm, yeah, right. My private OT has been calling them trying to get their records to ensure they are on the same page. Further, most moms I've talked to online with kids with similar histories as Gesina use both. Finally, my insurance doesn't cover private so I'm not going to stop EI because I can't afford to go all in with private. Sounds like turf wars to me. Either way, I've applied for a secondary insurance through the state that if we qualify for, will pay for the private therapy instead of EI. Fingers crossed on that as it takes about 4-6 MONTHS to find out if we qualify.

Gesina's daycare has had transitions as well. She and all her classmates have graduated to the next room. This means new teachers I've been training and new schedules. I'm transitioning Gesina to 4 days a week in daycare instead of 3... it's killing me :-( I need to do that as I have to start getting back on track at work this fall with more (and new to me) classes to teach, 2 new PhD students to train, 30 new MA students to matriculate, and I'm again heading my local professional society. I'm a sucker for punishment but I've often found that the more facets I have in my life, the more centered I am when things don't go "well" in any given one. In other words, I'm probably a better mother if I have a full life outside of mothering... at least this is what I tell myself!

And finally, Gesina got some serious family love this past weekend at the family reunion! She was held the whole time by every cousin I have and when not at the reunion, my sister and her grandma and grandpa got some snuggles in. In fact, she was so spoiled with family cuddles that she spent the whole first day home demanding to be held. She's incorrigible but as usual, I loved every minute of it. She was also amazing on the ferry ride and just slept, played with my hands, and even drank her bottles (I was seasick by the end but she held that formula down like a champ). Of course while she was at grandma and grandpa's, the "diet" went out the window with her first tastes of mashed potatoes and gravy, ice cream, and chocolate frosting. That's mashed potatoes in the picture below.

She was so good on the ferry and at grandma and grandpa's that we'll have to get a few more visits in before the ferry stops for the year.

Next up, rest and relaxation! We are finally caught up on doctor's visits for a few weeks. Just transitioning to daycare more often, more therapy, and more cuddles until the fall semester begins. I'm going to be horrible at more daycare... I think I'll pick her up early today... Oh how I love that little girl!